Though this has only happened on a couple of occasions, Lamp would like to address the concerns of a few parents of children who are friends with Lamp.

Point ..1: Lamp has never requested to be your son/daughter's friend. Your child has made the decision to add Lamp.

Point ..2: Lamp doesn't "send messages" to any children on myspace. If someone sends Lamp a message, then Lamp will typically reply, unless the sender is being completely out of line, (or if Lamp is crazy busy and the message gets buried in the inbox. It happens, sorry.)

Point ..3: Lamp is not a creepy old man. Lamp is a LAMP. A lamp you'd buy at Ikea and have in your home next to your couch or TV. (One might argue that Lamp is merely a character created by someone behind the scenes of MySpace, but to admit to that would be like saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Isn't it more fun to believe that Lamp is really a lamp? We all know that there is no tooth fairy... but there's a magic in believing.

Point ..4:Lamp leaves a comment of "Lamp loves you," (or a variation of that) on virtually everyone's profile. It's what Lamp does. Lamp loves people. Lamp wants everyone to love everyone. If you had taken the time to look at Lamp's profile before reacting irrationally, you'd know that your worries have no merit. But no, people see a comment from someone and they immediately freak out. If you're so ontop of parenting your children, why the hell did you allow them to add Lamp in the first place? Riddle me that!

When the ..&@!! did love become a bad word in this country? Lamp's is probably the most nonoffensive profile on myspace. There's very little that should offend people, (save for the rants against children and their parents). Lamp serves one purpose: to make people happy. If even for just a brief second, if Lamp can make someone feel better, then mission accomplished. Lamp isn't here for personal gains or to "meet" people. Lamp loves everyone. Everyone!!! And if that's a crime, then Lamp is guilty. Why is it inappropriate to leave a comment that proclaims Lamp's MySpace love for someone? Ridiculous.




Now Lamp would like to make this a little more personal and address one specific message that Lamp just received:

Don't know who you are but don't send messages to my teenage daughter again or I will report you as a potential pedophile... Go love yourself.

This message offended and enraged happy little Lamp.

Let's break this down, shall we?

If she had taken the time to look at Lamp's profile, she could have very easily figured out "who Lamp was." Lamp is an entity, a persona, a character, much like Micky Mouse.

Lamp has no idea what she's talking about as far as "sending messages." Lamp doesn't do that. Lamp can only assume she's referring to a comment Lamp left, which most likely read: "Lamp loves you, _____."

Now... Lamp has NO IDEA who her daughter is, because she didn't bother to say. Lamp has nearly 10,000 friends. Who exactly is Lamp supposed to stop "sending messages" to?

A potential pedophile? Really?! On what grounds? Because Lamp tells people that Lamp loves you? That's quite a stretch. Lamp believes that this person is a total hypocrite, and Lamp will tell you why:

Explain to Lamp what the difference is between a grown man/woman in a Micky Mouse suit hugging your child and telling them that they love them... to Lamp leaving a comment on someone's myspace that tells them that they love them. Why is one acceptable in her view? Explain that.

Lamp would also like to point out that Lamp is an open book. You can look through all of the messages Lamp has ever sent/received, and you'll see that Lamp's intentions are honest and pure. Lamp has never/will never send an innappropriated message to a child/teenager. That's bullshit.

So let's review? It's okay to set your child on a stranger's lap, be it an old man in a red suit or a person in a bunny suit... but it's suddenly a crime for a lamp, (or god forbid someone pretending to be a lamp) to leave a comment of love on their profile. Your concern and threat are both way off base and unwarrented and frankly. Lamp is quite bothered by this and thinks you owe Lamp an apology.

So that's that. Lamp is done with explain Lamp's raison d'etre. If parents still object to a lamp loving their child, and their neighbor, and their mailman, and their local congressional representative, and their father, and them... then frankly, they can go right ahead and....

love themselves.